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Wednesday, March 9, 2011

Please Do Not Open Until 2004

Dear 16 year old self,

First things first, I know you don't think school is super important, but it is. I'm busting my ass taking care of kids, a husband and a house and trying to redo courses that you are failing as you read this. Smarten up, dammit! I know Math is hard, but seriously, get some help. You need at least a 65% - that's all I'll tell you.
Also, don't drop Biology, please. I'm also doing that right now, and it would be awesome if I didn't have to. Stop skipping class. I know Mr. Barnett can be boring sometimes, but he knows his stuff. Ask him for help! Kris and Richard are your friends and they can help too!! ASK.

Secondly, stop treating Mom with such disrespect. She cries about you far too often. She loves you very much, and is proud of you - even though you don't think so. She has a very special present to give you in a few years, and you'll love it. She knows how wonderful you are, and she's only sad that you aren't working to your full potential!

Oh, and shut the hell up. You are not fat. I know that you think you are, but trust me... I would kill to have that body back! Ugh. I know you aren't as skinny as Erin or Stacey, but that doesn't matter. You don't have to be! (Oh, also, you're a JERK, but Stacey will love you eventually.)

Thanks, and I hope you take this seriously!


P.S. When you skip Socials, don't tell your teacher it's because you have to 'go to the hospital'. It just so happens that your Mother is going to call the school and will get that information and proceed to absolutely lose her shit. After she finds out that you're fine, you'll be in so much trouble that it isn't even funny. 
Also, get your mark up. Socials isn't hard, you're just lazy! GOD.

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