May contain swears, slang, dark humour, graphic pictures, nudity, sexual references, drug references, and anything else that can be considered offensive.

Saturday, January 29, 2011

Heads Up; One Up.

I love my kids, and I think they're the most beautiful children in the world - and that is totally normal.*

Why do 75% of the moms I know insist on making everything a competition?? Obviously I think my kids are amazing... They're my kids! Does that mean I'm saying they're better than yours? No!**

Let's say you're hanging out at the park, and you meet another Mom. Of course, you start chatting - You already know that you have so much in common.
You ask how old her child is, and she responds, "18 months... but she's tall for her age. She already wears size 2 clothing, and size 6 shoes. She's the biggest of her age group at the baby and me fitness class that we attend regularly. It's probably because I breastfed her, which is the only way to feed your child. Formula is for pseudo-moms. Also, I used cloth diapers, which not only made her grow better, but I used organic materials so she'll obviously grow up to respect the environment and probably become the first President of the World."

Wooooah! Just STOP!
Okay, that was overreactiving, but you know what I mean. Why can't we just talk about our children without getting all defensive? Why do we have to feel like we need to justify certain aspects of our kids if they aren't 'where they're supposed to be at'?
My kids are all very different in their own ways. My oldest is small for his age, my middle is big for his age, and my little girl... well, she's a drama queen.
All of my kids have done amazing things, and terrible things. They've all been nice, and they've all been mean. All of them have broken something, fixed something, made me laugh, made me cry, made me scream, made me fill with joy.
I'm sure your kids are awesome, and have done the same things for you... Why can't we discuss things without feeling like we have to compete?
More often than not, if you tell someone that your son was walking at 9 months, the response is not:

"Wow! That must have been a challenge for you! How exciting!"

No no, it's always: 

"Huh. Are you sure? That young? Odd. Well, my daughter could say her alphabet by the age of 18 months. Girls always talk earlier than boys, you know... but at 18 months, that's totally crazy. She's brilliant. Really smart. You have no idea. "

Please don't interrupt me, I'm terribly busy.
Oh, and get this! Their baby is better than yours... but their labor was worse!!
Lord! If you had 6 hours of labor, and 10 stitches, they had 10 hours of labor, 20 stitches, 2 doctors, 5 nurses, and a partridge in a pear tree.
You just can't win!

I just let them have their fun. Eventually, they'll meet someone that will one up them, and hopefully they'll understand that it's silly... Or they'll have another baby just to try and beat 'em. -sigh- Some people just don't understand.

*Actually, it just so happens that my kids are the most beautiful kids in the world. It's just a fact.
**Actually, my kids are better than yours. Again, no offense.

Wednesday, January 26, 2011

Cheesy, Creamy Artichoke Dip!

Heat oven to 375F

2 pkgs (16 oz) Philadelphia cream cheese
1 can  artichoke hearts
1/4 c parm cheese (Optional)
2 or 3 cloves of garlic, chopped
1 1/2 c sour cream
About 1 c shredded cheese (I use marble)
Salt, pepper & powered cayenne pepper (to taste, cayenne optional)

Drain artichokes, and chop them up in a large bowl. Microwave cream cheese until soft (NOT melted), and mix into bowl. Add spices, parm, garlic, sour cream, and about 1/4 c of the shredded cheese, mix well.
Put mixture into a casserole dish (I prefer a deep one, so it's more to 'dip' into).
Top with remaining cheese.

Bake for about 20 minutes, or until bubbling.

Again, this is a guideline! Make it your own! Add a different soft cheese to the mixture (Asiago cheese is amazing!), add crab, shrimp, or spinach!

My hubby and I attacked it before I got a picture...

Tuesday, January 25, 2011

Chicken Casserole

Chicken Casserole for dinner!
I like this recipe because I make it differently every time! Recipes are guidelines! Mix it up! Try something new! Most of my recipes have 'optional' or 'if so inclined' in there, or anything to that effect.

Heat oven to 375F

1 can mushroom soup
1/2 cup milk
1/4 cup Parmesan cheese (Optional)
1 cup frozen/fresh veggies (Carrots, peas, corn, broccoli, etc)
2 cups cooked, cubed chicken
2 cups pasta (Penne, bowtie, elbow, rotini or egg noodles) 
1/2 cup shredded cheese (I use marble)
Salt, pepper

Cube and cook chicken*, cook pasta to al dente (
Pour can of mushroom soup into your casserole dish and smooth with a fork (Get rid of any lumps). Add milk slowly, stirring often. Add parm, and vegetables, until vegetables are covered. Do the same with pasta, and then chicken. Add salt and pepper, and stir again. Cover with shredded cheese.

Bake uncovered for about 30-35 minutes

*When cooking your chicken, it can be seasoned - if you're so inclined :)
Garlic powder, minced onion, Mrs. Dash, or whatever your favorite seasoning is!


There are so many milestones that you look forward to experiencing when you have kids. One of them that I have been very excited about was Owen losing his teeth. 
It's way better than when they actually get teeth, you know? It just kind of, flops out of their mouth! - Ha. Ha ha ha. No, not exactly.

I'm not a huge 'teeth' fan - Does that make sense? I don't love teeth, I don't really like going to the dentist... In fact, I don't even really like the whole mouth area at all. Teeth are just kind of weird.

Weird indeed.
 I didn't think it would be a big deal, though. I mean, the kid eats an apple or something, loses the tooth, and you do a big dance. Or, if you're not patient enough -like my Mother- you just rip it out of their skull.
I remember hiding my wiggly teeth from my Mom. The second she saw me playing with a wiggly tooth, she would click her tongue and say "Go lay on the couch, I'll be right there."
I'd whimper a little, but that's about all I could do. Mom would return with a cold cloth, lay my head on her lap, and rip that tooth out in one pull. She would put the cloth on the gushing hole that was now in my mouth, go and wash off my tooth, come back and ask me how I was doing. So calm, so collected.
My turn. I learned from the best, right?? I put Owen's head in my lap, took the cold cloth and put it around his tooth to tug it out and -

I couldn't do it. Every time I tried to pull it out, I thought I was hurting him - or that I was going to vomit. I couldn't stop saying "Oh my GOD, Owen... doesn't it hurt?" 
What a wimp.

I'm totally posting a picture when I get the balls to rip that sucker out.


Monday, January 24, 2011


Besides being one of my favorite words to say, 'awkwardness' is awesome.I'm really awkward; my whole life is one long, awkward moment.

Kind of like this, but all the time.

An awkward moment can happen at any time, any where. School, restaurants, work, church - if you're into that sort of thing.
Honestly though, the most awkward moments tend to happen when you're dating. There's so much pressure to be that amazing, cool, absolutely awesome date... Something is bound to happen to make you think that possibility just went down the drain.
My husband and I didn't 'court' for very long - 6 months... why not?- but that gave me MORE than enough time to do many awkward things. Those first few months of dating are just so... uncomfortable.
Women, you'll get this. You meet a guy, and he's amazing! You laugh together, share meals, car rides, possibly a bed - I don't judge. Everybody eats, everybody sleeps, everybody... uses the bathroom?
How embarrassing*
Yes - Women poop. Shocking, I know. Why can men talk about it so freely, and yet we get giggly and awkward the second it's brought up in conversation?
Men are proud of their poop. They love it. 
Why can't we just admit that it happens? I'm not asking for my girlfriends to start posting pictures or anything - seriously, please don't - I just want to be able to get off of the phone quickly by saying, "Sorry, gotta poop. I'll call you back later". Is that too much to ask?
When hanging out with my new boyfriend at his place, why can't I just 'drop the kids off at the pool'? Why do I have to make a pathetic excuse that I 'forgot to feed my fish' so I can drive home and use my own bathroom?**
By the way, here's a list of euphemisms for pooping. (May contain swears.)

*Don't ever try to look up pictures of girls on toilets by putting 'pictures of girls on toilets' into Google search. What has been seen, cannot be unseen...
**Yes, I did that. So what?

Sunday, January 23, 2011

Is it morning already?

Oh, how I long for the days of lazy teenagers that sleep in weekend mornings.... Although, by then, I'll have a career that probably requires me to get up early on weekends as well.
 I guess it's not that bad. My little ones sleep until around 8ish, my oldest around 730. I mean, it COULD be worse... but I prefer to still complain about it. I went to bed at 130, which is my own fault, and I am exhausted!

Anyway, I wanted to talk about something specific. I have a few friends that are first time Moms. Ohhh first time Moms. You guys ROCK!! You are the reason that I love talking to people about kids. The passion, amazement and pure giddiness that you exude at the milestones of your kids lives is wonderful. Not that people with more than one child bore me, or don't care about their kids, it's just... different with that first baby. The ups are great! First tooth, first coo, first smile, first food, learning to crawl, walk, talk... SO AMAZING!
What people don't really think about are the first 'downs'. First cold, first emergency room visit... and the dreaded "first FALL".
Please don't be offended if I snicker a little when you run to me and say "OHMYGOD! Little Bobby and I were playing on the couch, and he fell off! He's got a HUGE goose egg on his head! I'm the worst parent in the world! IN THE WORLD!!!!!!"
No, you aren't. These people are.
First thing you need to know, is that kids are usually more resilient than you think they are. Second thing, kids will hurt themselves. All the time. Almost every day, especially after they learn to crawl. Especially if they are male. Trust me.
Owen had his first 'owie' at about 13 months old. I will always remember it. 
I knocked on the door of the daycare. After a couple of seconds, his daycare provider opens up the door just a crack. She quickly tells me 'not to worry', and that Owen just had 'a little accident'. He had been running, and he tripped on a toy, and hit his head on the rocking horse about 10 minutes before I had arrived. She opens the door, and I just know that my jaw dropped and I could feel my eyes swelling up with tears.
It was about a quarter of an inch long, above his left eyebrow. The skin had been broken, and there was quite a bit of bruising. I almost died.
"Mom!" He yelled, arms out, BIG smile on his beautiful yet disfigured face (Okay, that may be a little too harsh). He was fine... but I was not.
The daycare provider tried to make light of the situation. She hugged me, told me he was fine, and that he had even been laughing shortly afterward. I realized she was staring at me, waiting for some type of response. I hadn't spoken a word since I saw him. I opened my mouth to speak... Made some kid of "hummababmmmm" sound, and burst into tears.

Look at how upset HE is.

All I could think of was that it was my fault. If I had gotten there a little bit earlier, maybe it wouldn't have happened? What if I had just stayed home with him that day?
Owen still has a small scar above his eyebrow, and I frequently have to tell him that story because he loves it. Kids love hearing about themselves when they were 'babies'. To him, it's an adventure. What a boy.
Anyway, my point is, accidents happen. Children will climb on things, eat things, drop things, throw things, break things, open things, close things, squeeze things, bite things, hit things... They are learning. They will learn that when they drop a toy, Mom will probably pick it up. They will also learn that if they hit the wall, that it hits back. They are developing. You can't protect your child from everything. They need to learn what not to do, as well as what to do. Obviously you'll be upset about a bump, scratch, or bruise, but you don't need to feel like a sub-par parent. Soothe your child, put on a cold cloth or band-aid (whatever is required), and remember that the child came you to for help... and that's exactly what you did. Congrats, Mom. You made it through!

If your child is bleeding excessively, seems disoriented, very sleepy or just 'not right', take them to an emergency room. Concussions are serious, and need to be handled accordingly. 

Saturday, January 22, 2011

Nice to meet me

Hello internet!

Welcome to my blog!

I'll start by a long and boring post all about .... ME.

I'm a young Mom of three beautiful children; Owen, CJ and Kaylee. I live in Canada, am a stay at home Mom, and have a wonderful husband. This blog is not just necessarily about my children, or child rearing, but it's safe to assume that most of it will be about that. And food. I LOVE food.

I had my first (unplanned) child at 16. Surprise! RESPONSIBILITY! Luckily, my parents didn't kick me out of the house, or force me to give my child away. My first son, Owen, was born October 4th, 2004. I lived with my parents until I graduated, and I felt I was 'ready' to move out. Ha.
Leaving my parents at 17, with a 9 month old baby, was liberating! Well, more like terrifying. Shortly after I finished unpacking and getting settled, I quickly realized that dinner wasn't happening until I made it. Laundry? My responsibility. Vacuuming? Me. Dishes? Me. Wait... Why did I leave? - Oh well, too late.

A couple of years later, I met my husband. Well, he wasn't my husband THEN, of course. You know what I mean. We (swiftly) got married, and decided that taking care of a 2 year old at 19 just wasn't exciting/exhausting enough. On April 2nd, 2008 (2 days after my 1 year wedding anniversary), little CJ was born. I was now a Mother of two. How exciting!
CJ was a wonderful sleeper. 12 hours a night at 6weeks! It was amazing! 
I thought to myself, "Wow, I am SO lucky! This is simple! Kids are sooo easy. Why does everyone complain so much?"
Oh, no. Oh, no no no...
 When CJ was just 5 months old, karma came to visit - in the form of a positive pregnancy test. 

-What?! Is that even possible?!-

On May 13th, 2009, my little princess Kaylee came into the world. Suddenly, I become a 21 year old mother with three children under the age of 5. UNDER THE AGE OF 5. -faint-
This. All day.

Fast forward to today. My oldest is in the first grade, my middle child is -hopefully- almost done his 'terrible twos' and my daughter is just beginning them... and I'm still alive, with most of my hair.

This is my life; my family, my dreams, my stories. My breakthroughs, and failures. My proud moments.. and my humble ones. I am not perfect, but I do my best to take care of my family and be who I am - a MOM.