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Saturday, March 26, 2011


I quit smoking at 12:45 am on December 31st, 2010. 

Now, if you think this post is going to be about how awesome I am, and how lame you are - You're wrong. (Just to clarify, I am awesome)

I smoked off and on for 12 years, but fairly steadily the last 10. I loved smoking. Honestly, I adored it. It was my favorite thing to do. 
Have you ever made plans, and they fell through? Sucks - but hey! You have cigarettes! They didn't cancel on you because they want to have crazy monkey sex with their new boyfriend! 

haha, I didn't actually think I could find something like this!
When you and your significant other have a fight, and you just need someone to talk to, someone that can calm you down, but all of your friends are out at the disco - Who do you have?? Cigarettes. 

I seriously didn't think that could ever let go. It wasn't just an addiction... I was going to lose my best friend. 

I know how crazy that sounds, it's okay.
I would wake up, and have a smoke. 
Make the kids breakfast, and while they were eating, I'd have a smoke. 
Drive my oldest to school, and on the way home, smoke in the van.
Get home, do some house work (Or dick around on the computer), and realize that it's been an hour or so. Have another smoke.
Make lunch for the kids, once they were happy and eating, have a smoke. 
Have a couple of smokes before picking up oldest from school because I have to be there half an hour early and I can't smoke on school property.
Get home from picking him up, and have another smoke.
Do a load of dishes, and 'wait for those to dry' on the drying rack while I had a smoke.
Get hungry, have a smoke.
Get thirsty, have a smoke.
Have a coughing fit, have a smoke.

It got to the point that I started to hate how much I depended on it. I couldn't stand leaving in the middle of dinner at a nice restaurant because I needed a cigarette. I hated driving anywhere because I would light up a smoke at every red light, and would run out of smokes faster because of it. I would get so frustrated if I woke up in the middle of the night, because I knew that 'only a cigarette' would be able to get me back to sleep.
It wasn't a friend anymore- it was my worst enemy. I had to stop!

No cigarettes were harmed in the making of this blog post

Every time I tried to quit, I would go into panic mode. What would I do when I was driving? What would I do when I was reading a book? What if I can't sleep? What if I can't stop eating? What if I started jogging and being all healthy?! Noooo!

I was driving home, having a smoke, at 12:45am on December 31st, and thought... let's just do it now! - Which is something I had done many a time. This time it was different. 
I didn't start sweating. I didn't laugh nervously, say "Psyche!" and light up a new smoke.
It was just the right time. 

It was hard. I was forgetful. I would enter a room and think, "Wait... I was supposed to do something..." It would take a few minutes of walking from room to room before I would realize that I hadn't gone outside in hours. I was forgetting to smoke
I also used this website, mainly for the 'Q-Gadget' that tells you how much money you've saved (I'm almost at $400!), how many cigarettes you haven't smoked, and how long you've been quit. It's nice to see those numbers - at least it was for me! Also, there are a lot of positive people in the chats that are willing to support you!

Support is the most important. Those people that think they are supporting you by saying "Well, I don't actually think you'll do it... but if you do, I'm really proud!" need to stay away. You can't have back-handed comments like that. It is incredibly damaging! That's not support! Remember, you aren't quitting for them, you're quitting for you. If you don't have a lot of support, I recommend keeping it to yourself - especially for the first 2 weeks, as they are the hardest.

Okay, I'm tired and severely grumpy, so I'm going to have to cut this short. 
If anyone out there needs support to quit smoking, please don't hesitate to message me (Either here, FB or Twitter) and I'll be there for you!!

TL;DR - Quitting is hard, it sucks, but you can do it - and I love you.

1 comment:

  1. I always knew you could quit smoking. Never doubted for a moment. Every time I see your little posts on Facebook about how much not smoking has improved your life (the little stat thingies, you know what I'm talking about) it brings a smile to my face, it really does. :D