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Saturday, February 5, 2011

Uterme, Uteryou, Uterus.

As I've previously stated, I have three children, and I absolutely love it. I always knew that I would become a Mom one day, and I enjoy it just as much as I thought I would - if not more!!

On the other hand, I don't want any more children.

Don't get me wrong, I just... don't want anymore. I'm done, and that's okay. I mean done
I'm going to put a picture of the end result of a hysterectomy now, sorry.


THIS is how done I am.
 Now here's the catch!
There are 3 things that surgeons are looking for in a woman that wants to get her tubes tied (Tubal ligation for you nursey people).
  1. Martial Status. You gotta be serious. You better be with the man of your freakin' dreams
  2. Age. Basically, they don't want some 18 year old coming in saying, "Like, I figured... If you, like, just tie me up, then I won't, like, have a baby and stuff. I'm totally not ready."
  3.  Previous births. Were they easy? Was baby healthy? Were there any health issues: High blood pressure, problems with delivery, blah blah blah.

 So, let's look at me.
  1. Marital status - Married, 4 years in March. Check.
  2. Age - 24 (This year), a little on the young side, but I already have 3 children.
  3. Previous births - With the exception of high blood pressure with my first, I've been pretty darn healthy. I mean, I'm a little chubby, but you can't hate me for that!
All in all, it looks pretty good, right? Wrong.
I was asked, "What if your husband dies, and you meet someone new? What if this new man wants children with you?"
Seriously? First of all, if my husband dies tomorrow, it's not like I'll remarry right away. Let's say he does. I give myself about 2 years for grieving (As much as he pisses me off, I'd miss the hell out of him). I'm now 26. I meet a man; I want to date for at least 2 years. I'm now 28, and have an 11 year old, 8 year old and 7 year old. All three kids are in school, and my days are open for work and/or school. Do I wanna mess that up by having a newborn? NO!

Second, and most disturbing question:
"What if one of your other children dies?"
... I'm sorry, what? I must have missed your point. Are you trying to tell me that children are replaceable?

No one will ever notice!
 I've been pregnancy-free for almost 2 years now; a combination of birth control, condoms, and telling my husband to keep his damn dirty hands off of me.

If I get pregnant, I'm making that doctor pay me child support.

1 comment:

  1. Hahahahahaha!!!!!! I'm laughing SO hard. You can't get a hysterectomy, you're going to be my surrogate. That's why you've quit 'moking, bermember?