May contain swears, slang, dark humour, graphic pictures, nudity, sexual references, drug references, and anything else that can be considered offensive.

Saturday, January 29, 2011

Heads Up; One Up.

I love my kids, and I think they're the most beautiful children in the world - and that is totally normal.*

Why do 75% of the moms I know insist on making everything a competition?? Obviously I think my kids are amazing... They're my kids! Does that mean I'm saying they're better than yours? No!**

Let's say you're hanging out at the park, and you meet another Mom. Of course, you start chatting - You already know that you have so much in common.
You ask how old her child is, and she responds, "18 months... but she's tall for her age. She already wears size 2 clothing, and size 6 shoes. She's the biggest of her age group at the baby and me fitness class that we attend regularly. It's probably because I breastfed her, which is the only way to feed your child. Formula is for pseudo-moms. Also, I used cloth diapers, which not only made her grow better, but I used organic materials so she'll obviously grow up to respect the environment and probably become the first President of the World."

Wooooah! Just STOP!
Okay, that was overreactiving, but you know what I mean. Why can't we just talk about our children without getting all defensive? Why do we have to feel like we need to justify certain aspects of our kids if they aren't 'where they're supposed to be at'?
My kids are all very different in their own ways. My oldest is small for his age, my middle is big for his age, and my little girl... well, she's a drama queen.
All of my kids have done amazing things, and terrible things. They've all been nice, and they've all been mean. All of them have broken something, fixed something, made me laugh, made me cry, made me scream, made me fill with joy.
I'm sure your kids are awesome, and have done the same things for you... Why can't we discuss things without feeling like we have to compete?
More often than not, if you tell someone that your son was walking at 9 months, the response is not:

"Wow! That must have been a challenge for you! How exciting!"

No no, it's always: 

"Huh. Are you sure? That young? Odd. Well, my daughter could say her alphabet by the age of 18 months. Girls always talk earlier than boys, you know... but at 18 months, that's totally crazy. She's brilliant. Really smart. You have no idea. "

Please don't interrupt me, I'm terribly busy.
Oh, and get this! Their baby is better than yours... but their labor was worse!!
Lord! If you had 6 hours of labor, and 10 stitches, they had 10 hours of labor, 20 stitches, 2 doctors, 5 nurses, and a partridge in a pear tree.
You just can't win!

I just let them have their fun. Eventually, they'll meet someone that will one up them, and hopefully they'll understand that it's silly... Or they'll have another baby just to try and beat 'em. -sigh- Some people just don't understand.

*Actually, it just so happens that my kids are the most beautiful kids in the world. It's just a fact.
**Actually, my kids are better than yours. Again, no offense.